


Monogamy Is A Sin In Hell

by route357 (checktheargyle)



Series: Way Up High Or Down Low [2]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-19
Updated: 2010-12-19
Packaged: 2017-11-04 04:30:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/389762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/checktheargyle/pseuds/route357
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Continuation to "<a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/389757">Way Up High, Or Down Low</a>", which you must read to even understand this. </p>
            </blockquote>





	Monogamy Is A Sin In Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Written from 04.07.2010 to 19.12.2010. Not really intended for Jin's birthday but somehow the first part was written on his birthday anyway, ~~thatluckybastard~~. Although it took me a couple more months to actually write the rest of the fic, and it turned out to be completely different from the original plan. ~~Blame it on the Jin-muse.~~

To my favourite angel-turned-demon, ♥  
  
Last week, the Devil called me into his castle and gave a long and boring lecture on Sins. You would have thought that after how long I have lived as a demon, there was no need for such a lesson right? He went on and on about the Seven Deadly Sins --- which c'mon, even I can remember them by heart --- before he finally talked about Sins in the context of Hell.  
  
Let me explain further.  
  
What the Devil was trying to teach me about was what Hell considered 'sins', as in acts and behaviours forbidden by Hell. For example, helping someone else in need but not expecting anything in return. I think, filtering all the Devil's long-winded gibberish, I can summarise two things he wanted to tell me.  
  
One. Being eco-friendly is a Sin in Hell.  
  
I actually think he wanted to tell you this but he's secretly still afraid of your ability to shine the Light of Goodness at him. I suspect that he believes the reason why you've managed to maintain this ability of yours, despite being in Hell for two years already, is because you're being too eco-friendly.  
  
Please don't go finding the Devil to lecture him about the importance of saving the Earth and all though, because you look too damn cute when you're being overly serious about a topic you're interested in, and I wouldn't want him to take advantage of you.  
  
Two. Monogamy is a Sin in Hell.  
  
Now, this one, this particular Sin of Hell, is a really serious problem. The Devil says it has ruined my reputation and it's true --- I keep hearing those tiny minions laughing behind my back and now I know why. They're all laughing at the fact that I'm only sleeping with you! At first I brushed it off as jealousy, but I realised that if I continue to be faithful only to you, this could seriously affect my existence as a demon! And you and I both know that Heaven won't welcome me at all because of differences in fashion sense and taste in lyrics!  
  
And so, I've decided to take my collection of songs I've written, head back to LA where I achieved infamy, and hold a solo concert tour, sleeping with any groupie along the way and damning the souls of thousands.  
  
You'll probably be mad at me for taking off suddenly, but hey, an angry you makes you even hotter. ♥  
  
Don't forget, you'll always be my favourite!  
  
Love & Lust,  
Akanishi Jin

* * * * *

To Akanishi,

If you do get to talk to the Devil again, please tell him that if Earth is destroyed, he would have no more human souls to damn and Hell would run out of business.

Ueda wants to know how he can get a share of your profits from the tour. Speaking of which, I hope your concerts were somewhat successful.

Koki wants me to tell you that you will never be as hot as Bi, otherwise known as Rain, some Korean popstar who 'has more muscles and slick moves' than you do, according to Koki. I've lost touch with the Korean pop culture due to time spent on Metal Gear so I can't verify what Koki said, but he's an angel so he doesn't lie.

Taguchi, the Human Resource guy from Heaven if you've forgotten who he is, wants you to teach him English when you're done with your tour. I told him to find a better tutor but unfortunately he thinks you're cool.

Please find attached the list of things Kame has asked for, in return for 'always stealing' his things, he said. Kame said that if you don't get all the things he's listed, he's going to burn all your sunglasses and fedoras. When I told him that you've taken them with you, he says he'll burn those posters of busty blondes you have on your wall. I do hope Kame keeps his promise.

Regards,  
Nakamaru  


* * * * *

Dearest Yuichi, ♥

You're mad at me, aren't you? I can tell from the tone of your previous letter. I should be upset, but the idea of you being angry makes me turned on. ^_^

Tell Tanaka that I can't help it if he's jealous of my good looks. An angel shouldn't get jealous over such things though, tsk tsk.

Tell Taguchi that since he thinks I'm cool, I don't mind teaching him, but he'll have to send me a picture of himself because I can't remember what he looks like.

Tell Tat-chan to write a song for me and I'll pay him a small fee, but the song has to be about hot chicks at a club and not about rabbits or wolves.

Tell Kazuya I don't really care and I'm not getting anything for him.

And I can tell that you're awfully jealous of those posters. I can't help it if I like big breasts! But I lust for you more than big breasts, as you should already know~

Oh, Ryo-chan came to one of my concerts! He said he happened to be nearby but I know that he actually always wanted to see me shine on stage although he'll never admit it. ♪ Would you drop by too? ♥

Your favourite demon,  
Jin ♥  


* * * * *

To the demon who I somewhat miss but who insists on being an asshole in some country on Earth,

Yes, I'm mad at you. The amount of expenditure for your tour is going to cost Hell a lot of money and if you don't earn enough to cover the expenses, I'm going to cut up your credit card and let you live on $10 meals a day up there on Earth.

Anyway, I've passed your message to the rest.

Koki laughed. Then lifted his top to show me his six pack. I was impressed. Never knew that he still had time to work out despite his Cupid duties. Maybe you should get some tips from him.

Taguchi said he'd send you his poster for you to hang on your wall so that you'd remember his face, but I told him to save on postage by coming down over to your room to put it up. Taguchi chose to stick it on top of one of those favourite posters of yours. I hope you do realise that when you're back, we're never having sex in your room ever again because his face disturbs me more than those busty blondes.

Ueda, after finding out from me that you weren't really making that much money anyway, has decided against wasting his musical talent on writing a song for you. Maybe you can ask Nishikido-kun? Funnily enough, he has offered his 'services' to me at a 'discount rate', though I have no idea what those 'services' are.

Kame said he'll have sex with me if you still insist on not getting him those things. I told him I'd be willing to, since 'monogamy is a sin in hell' and I have to make sure I get to stay here instead of risk having you follow me back up to Heaven. I wouldn't mind returning to Heaven, but the angels wouldn't appreciate your presence, as you already know. Plus, Kame has been... even more attractive lately.

Speaking of which, I went shopping with Kame the other day and we bought matching watches. I've attached a picture with this letter. Nice, eh?

Your favourite angel-turned-demon,  
Yuichi  


* * * * *

To Kazuya.

Bitch, stay away from MY YUICHI. How dare you get matching watches with him?! I'll get you your stupid things as long as you keep your hands off Yuichi!

From Jin.  


* * * * *

To Tanaka.

I don't care that you're an angel. I'll burn your abs if you dare show them to MY YUICHI again.

From Jin.  


* * * * *

To Tat-chan.

Don't you dare offer Yuichi any sort of 'services', whatever they might be. And hmph, you don't know what you're missing out on, not wanting to write a song for me!

From Jin.  


* * * * *

Dear Yuichi,

You're so cute, trying to make me jealous! I miss you too! ♥

I promise to earn lots of GOLD to make up for all the costs, so don't be upset! If you cut up my credit card, how am I going to buy all those things for Kazuya?

As for working out, aren't all our sessions enough of a work-out?

Oh, and feel free to tear off Taguchi's poster. You can also take down the ones of those busty blondes as well if they make you feel uncomfortable. Really! You should have mentioned it earlier and I would have taken them down for you. I'm sure you know that the water bed in my room is way more comfortable than that boring bed in yours?

Will be back soon~

The only being you should be sleeping with,  
Jin.  


* * * * *

To Nakamaru.

The dumb guy sent me a very strange message about writing a song and offering my services. You better make sure that he isn't eating something weird again. I have better things to do than to deal with a crazy nutcase.

From Ueda.  


* * * * *

To Yuichi.

What's Akanishi going on about? When have I ever shown my awesome abs to you?

From Koki.  


* * * * *

Dear Yuichi,

I see that you told Jin about our matching watches. He sent me a warning message to stay away from you. Should I reply and tell him that you're just irresistible and lie to him about how you've been flirting with me recently?

Oh, and he sent me a huge package with a bunch of things. Don't remember asking him to buy them so I assume you made him do it. You're the best~ ♥

Always open to a threesome,  
Kame ♪  


* * * * *

Dear Jin,

I'm not trying to make you jealous. I've just been thinking hard about your first letter, about monogamy being a sin in Hell. Thus, I have made a decision.

This is just to let you know that I'm going to seduce Kame so that I won't be committing the sin of monogamy anymore. How are those chicks you've been sleeping with, by the way?

Yours but not yours only,  
Yuichi  


* * * * *

Dear Yuichi, whose mine and mine only,

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

If you must, at least wait for me to come back and we'll have a threesome! (Although I'm reluctant to share, but if you insist.) And those chicks are nothing compared to you!!!

On my way back to you,  
Jin  


* * * * *


End file.
